I vividly remember being a little girl sitting on my canopy bed in my pink room dreaming about the person I was going to marry. And the life I was going to have with that person. Initially I thought it would be Joe McIntyre from New Kids On the Block. I recall being mesmerized by romantic comedies, movies and novels. Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, The Notebook, Jerry Mcguire, Say Anything. Or musicals like Les Miserables or Once would always touch me deeply.
Books, such as Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice, drew me in completely with the love focused narratives. I can still see that young girl singing love songs. Believing in finding love that would captivate heart, mind and soul. I eventually grew up and experienced great and not so great relationships in my quest to find that special person. There was always a tiny part of me that held on to that little girl’s wish for the Fairytale.
LEARNING TO LET GO OF THE FAIRYTALE
A few years ago when going through a divorce, I remembered feeling disappointed. I couldn’t envision that little girl sitting on her bed anymore with the hope of finding that special person. I am incredibly lucky to have the unconditional love of my child, my parents, family, my closest friends, colleagues and mentors in my life. I am grateful for everyone who is a part of my life. A part of me placed the hope of finding my life partner somewhere back in the deep corners of my mind. While I dealt with the transitional period and moving forward with my life.
Instead, I stopped dating for a few years and focused on loving myself. The phrase I heard a thousand times turned out to be true. If you can’t truly embrace all of who you are and love yourself, it is difficult to fully commit to someone else. During my dating hiatus, I rediscovered who I was, what I liked or disliked, and how I could be a better partner in my next relationship. I rediscovered my passions and embraced new things. It turned out to be ok to be alone for a while.
REWRITE THE STARS
Last year, my child fell in love with the movie “The Greatest Showman” and its underlying love stories. When I watched the movie, I too was touched by the love story. Zac Efron’s character, Phillip Carlyle is a wealthy socialite who falls in love with a trapeze artist (Anne Wheeler) played by Zendaya. There is one scene where they sing “Rewrite the Stars” which speaks to people about rewriting your story in life and overcoming obstacles or barriers when it comes to loving another person. The movie also focused on loving oneself, embracing one’s unique gifts and imperfections as well as the flaws of another human being.
Watching my child be mesmerized by these two characters’ inspiring story stirred something inside of me again. I saw a glimpse of my younger self again. I have watched the movie many times since then and listened to the soundtrack and specifically that particular song regularly. In the last year I have become open to finding love again, and I know I deserve it. It may not be an easy task, but it is not impossible. Regardless, I will continue to love the important people in my life, accept myself and wish that my child holds on to the vision that love can be wondrous.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY